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User blog:DryYoshi/A Teenage Girl's Apocalypse - Part 6: Wall Floats
Hammer woke up. She saw that both the car and herself were perfectly fine. While thinking about how that could ever be possible, the others woke up. “What in tarnation just happened?” Nora shouts, in an Applejack-like voice. “Well, a certain someone drove into a wall because she wasn't paying attention!” Viccie responds. Hammer looks angrily at her. “No need to get angry at me, you and Chop were the ones who into a fight and caused me to be distracted! And I warned you guys!” Acne had just crawled out of the car. “Don't you guys find it a little peculiar that we're fine? I mean, we drove into a wall.” “Then maybe we have to inspect that wall a little further.” Holly suggests. They all walk up to the wall. “Be careful. It could give you a not-so-pizzay-keen shock.” Nora says. As Viccie reaches for the wall, something big shoots out and lands behind the team. Everyone looks in amazement. “Is that a.... parade float? And did it just came out of an effing wall?” Viccie says. Nora gets all excited. “Oh yay, I love parades! And floats! And parade floats! Floopydoo!” “Of course you do.” Chop says, slightly annoyed. “Shut the f up.” “BAD WORD!” Nora shouts. Chop just continues. “Shut. The. F. Up!” Nora gives in. “Okay... geez...” A girl jumps off the float. “Hello there, people I have never met.” Hammer walks up to her. “Hi. My name is Hammer.” The others also introduce themselves. “My name is Laquifa.” the girl says. Then Hammer starts talking again. “What the hell just happened? How did you go through the wall like that?” “To be honest, I don't even know myself.” Laquifa answers. “We were just riding in a parade and all of a sudden, a wall appears in front of our float and we ended up here.” “So what I'm understanding here, is that the wall's like a teleporter?” Holly says. Laquifa starts speaking again. “Well if it is, then it's pretty damn slow. We were in a different dimension for like 30 minutes.” Acne checks her watch. “It's almost half an hour after we passed out, so driving into the wall must have triggered some kind of teleportation thing.” “Okay, how often do you check your watch to know that?” Viccie asks her. “Well, quite often, actually. Also, it can transform into a lot of things. Including a smartphone, a laptop or even a giant flat screen TV. It's quite useful.” Everyone looks impressed. “How does that even work? Show it.” Laquifa says. Acne starts shouting out things. “Watcher! Transform, laptop!” The watch transforms. “Um... that is not a laptop.” Chop looks less impressed. Acne looks angry. “Yes, I can see that. What the hell is wrong with this thing? Turning into a toilet... How would a portable toilet even work?” Acne tries the transforming again. This time it works. “Ooh, that's pretty cooliostical.” Nora says excited. “I like that name. Watcher. Clever.” Hammer says and she turns her head. “But hey, Laquifa, you said 'we'. Who's 'we'?” Then someone crawls out of the float. “With we, she means me and her. I'm Synddia. Nice to meet you.” “WHAT THE F IS WITH THESE GODDAMN NAMES?!” Viccie shouts as loud as she can. “It's not my fault my possibly deceased mother gave me that name!” Synddia shouts back. “Deceased? You mean...” “Meteors.” “I should have known.” Then, Synddia turns her head. “But anyway, Laquifa, I'm very mad at you!” Laquifa looks confused. “What? Why mad at me? For what?” Synddia raises her voice. “I told you to make the float into a boob-float! Not a freaking cupcake! This isn't Victorious with Terror on Cupcake Street! I mean, I like cupcakes, but boobs are my life! They're much tastier too.” “Dude! What the hell is wrong with you? Kids go to that parade! A float made of boobs would be completely inappropriate!” “Since when have you ever cared about how pervy or inappropriate something is?” “There are little kids involved here! As a matter of fact, you're technically one! You're twelve!” Laquifa stops talking for one second to think about what she just said. Then she continues again. “Well, now that I think about it, you're twelve. That's about the time you become sort of a teenager. But...” She thinks about what else she can say to Synddia. “Anyway, my point is that it's a parade with kids and a lot of people and you can't just show up with a booby-mobile!” Synddia starts crying. Laquifa walks up to her. “Hey, are you really crying?” Synddia starts laughing as Laquifa approaches her. “Nah, I'm just kidding.” “Don't.... freaking toy with my emotions like that! I hate that!” Synddia looks kind of guilty. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.” Laquifa starts to look happier again. “No, it's okay, Synddia. I'm alright. Just don't pull that chiz ever again!” she says fiercely. “Friends, right?” “Friends.” They hug. Then Synddia grabs Laquifa's butt. Laquifa shouts. “HEY! What the hell, man?!” “Sorry, I just couldn't resist.” Synddia bursts out laughing. “Next time we should just shake hands.” Laquifa suggests. She turns to Hammer. “So, do you need a ride? We can take you guys on the float. Just say where you wanna go and we'll take you there.” Hammer doesn't hesitate to answer. “Actually, that would be very nice. Thanks.” “Oh yay, we get to right on a float! Shaped like a cupcake!” Nora says out of excitement. They all climb aboard the parade float. Some have trouble getting on, but most get on fine. Once they're all in, they all shout “HOLY ****!”. Well, except Nora of course, who screams “HOLY CHEESEBALLS!”. The interior of the float is full of machines, weapons and gadgets. The weapons range from handpistols and SMGs to assault rifles and lasers. They even have homing rocket launchers. The gadgets include clawshots, heat-seeking boomerangs that kind of look like Batarangs and explosive gum. All the machines show weird meters and other crazy chiz. Holly is curious. “What the hell is all this stuff?” Laquifa comes walking up to her. “Now, that is our zombie and ghost meter. It shows if any zombies or ghosts are in range.” “It shows both? Isn't that kind of dumb? You wouldn't be able to know the difference until you arrive at the location.” “Yeah, that's one of the many dumb things. But we never even encountered a ghost, so I guess it's okay.” “But I would also like to know what the hell those are!” Holly points at the weapons and gadgets. “Oh those. Well...” Laquifa tries to think of a good excuse. But Synddia interrupts her in mid-thought. “Those are from the Morcan Corporation. We are agents who work for them.” Laquifa hits her in the head. “You freaking idiot! They weren't supposed to know that!” “I'm sorry!” “NO! Sorry isn't gonna cut it this time! You just revealed our biggest secret! We're totally screwed now!” Synddia doesn't say another word. “So you're just gonna stay quiet now?” Laquifa asks. Synddia nods. “Good.” “God, you guys argue so much.” Acne says. “Yeah, we have like a frenemy type of relationship.” Synddia replies. “That's cute.” Chop says quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. When she notices she's being stared at, she moves back a little. “I mean... uh, nevermind.” Viccie turns to her. “Okay, Chop, that was just effing weird. Please don't do that again.” Hammer turns to Laquifa.“So... Laquifa, you guys are like zombie hunters?” she asks. “And ghost hunters. But like I said, the ghost part isn't going so well. The zombies part is going fine, though.” “Well, that's good to hear then.” “Ugh, when are we just gonna go?!” Viccie asks, annoyed. “Okay, Viccie, quit your complainin'. We will go right now.” Laquifa tells her. Laquifa climbs to the front of the float, passing through a giant machine with a lot of lights on it. Nora looks up. “Hey, look, a hatch. Wonder what that leads up to.” “I've no idea. We should ask Laquifa.” Acne says. She shouts to the front of the float. “Hey, Laquifa! What is this hatchet over here?” “That hatchet leads to the hidden turret.” Hammer thinks of a great idea. “Hey, we could use that to shoot the zombies! Laquifa, mind if we used it for that?” “No, not at all. We got enough ammo and that's also exactly what it's supposed to be used for. But you have to be really careful with it. I recommend that you use it, Hammer, as you are the oldest.” “Oh, of course the older ones get to do all the fun stuff.” Viccie says. Laquifa shocks her and she faints. “What the floop was that?” Nora says, in a bit of a wacky manner that doesn't fit the situation at all. It sounded more like she lost her pants rather than as if someone got shocked. “That was my taser. It really comes in handy, don't you think? Shut her right up.” Nora looks at Laquifa, in an unhappy way. “Well, that's not nice to do.” “Sometimes, you just can't be nice, Nora. If you're nice all the time, you can into some deep chiz.” “Sweatsock...” Nora says quietly. Laquifa doesn't hear it as she already started moving to the front of the float, past the weird machine. “Well, I bet this will be a hell of a ride...” Chop says in a sigh, as the float starts moving and shaking all over the place. Category:Blog posts